domingo, 1 de marzo de 2009

"it could hit you, it could hurt you"

It's quite funny how I have the power of attraction of a magnet when it comes to children from hell. I don't really know why but they find in me an easy target to irritate inmediatly.

There are times when I inevitably have to share a room or any other place with people that have restless children. They would burp or sneeze (and then laugh) right on my face, repeat incessantly "daddydaddydaddy!!!" in their annoying high pitch, or speak over other people's conversations, provoking my killer instinct to arise, until their stupid father puts two and two together and realizes with a careless face: "oh, he's calling ME!". I understand that they behave like hellish creatures only to get their parents' attention but... I can't stand it.

These little twats (and by little I mean in their fivesixseveneights) won't stop, unfortunately. They develop, along with their capacity of wearing anyone out, a strannnnge ability to not listen when they are told to shut up and behave properly, in the case the parent knows the difference between proper and improper, that is.

I don't give a crap if their daddy or mommy is near, I always get the feeling that I would be a lot happier if I did some nasty things to them, like poking them in both eyes, giving them a kick in their tushies or yelling at them a few "enough, you monster!!". A death threat would do, too. In fact I've practiced a great evil look in order to let them know (without saying a word) I ab-so-lutely hate them when they behave in ways Southpark's characters would find at least outrageous.

So, please, parents of the world, teach your children well, as CSN&Y used to suggest, or keep those spoiled brats away from me, because next time, I will not be responsible for my acts. And there would be blood.

Have a nice day.

Love ya'!

1 comentario:

  1. have you ever heard about "the dry submarine"?
    it usually helps.
    just get a nice nylon bag and have fun!